Tag Archives: Death and depression

Dementia: I Hate You! (part 1)

I know I am not the only one to hate dementia! What is there to love or even like about it. It steals your loved one away from you in a slow and painful way. My mother was a smart lady who had her life in order. She and her husband had their lives all planned out, and then Dementia


This was my Mom Sally in 2008 with my Step-Father Marvin at mine and Joel’s wedding.

This was shortly before she retire.


My mother started feeling slow and stupid at work. Her work was taking her longer than ever before and she did not know why. She decided after a couple of years to retire early to save her from the stress and sleeplessness she was experiencing. After that her friends started to notice that she was forgetful and confused sometimes. She would forget what things were called, one day she was trying to order french fries and after much struggling she came up with “fingers”they all tried to laugh it off. The small stuff was adding up and her two best friends would call me to complain because they knew my Mom and Step-Father Marvin were not doing anything about her decline.

And then… Cancer… My Step-Father Marvin was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. They didn’t catch the cancer earlier because Marvin was way to healthy. (ironic) After this diagnosis any chance that my mother would have gotten any testing or treatment went right out the window. It wasn’t that they decided that her condition didn’t matter it was that they had bigger fish to fry and did not really see anything medically wrong with Mom. My Step-Father was great at being her memory so it did not seem like she had a huge looming issue.

The truth didn’t get figured out until after Marvin had passed away. The shock of his death kickstarted her disease into overdrive. They say stress can make things worse and boy did it! Thank goodness for my Step-Aunt Shirley being around at the end of Marvin’s life and during the whole funeral ordeal. I had been kept in the dark for the most part when it came to mom’s problems. Marvin made sure we were involved with a lot of his information and all the legal things to be done pertaining to his dying. We knew that mom was having some difficulties with her memory and word recall but we had no idea of the scope of the issue. During the funeral Mom seemed out of sorts and unable to make any decisions. She was just plain angry at everyone who was involved with making any important decisions. After Marvin had passed away Mom seemed to be depressed most of the time. She did not leave her room much and ate very little. Canned beans was her food of choice when she did eat. She was not cooking or really going out of her room. It was all very confusing to me to come over for a planned outing and find that she was still in bed and really had no idea why I was over. I now wonder is she was confused as to who I was even then.

I talked her into getting a dog(BIG MISTAKE) and she seemed very happy with the dog. She however could not figure out the harness or anything else that pertained to Molly’s care. The dog peed all over her room because Mom had come to the decision that taking her outside to pee was mean. I think she was afraid to go outside if it was dark and that she did not want to get dressed to go outside either. I would try explain things so they made ┬ásense to her but she would just get mad at me. Things were just getting stranger by the minute!

So I made my first Mother daughter doctors appointment!

To be continued…


Filed under Dementia, Health